It’s been quite a while since I went to church on my own. I think the last time was sometime last year, and even then, it was just a visit. For nearly two years, I haven’t been attending church consistently. I struggled to commit. The idea of finding a church with sound doctrine and stepping into a new community felt overwhelming. Time after time, I told myself I’d start looking for a church—only to keep putting it off.
Recently, though, I felt a strong conviction from God. I realized that if I truly want to learn and grow, I need to find a church home and get plugged in. So I decided to visit Calvary Chapel. A good friend had told me that the pastor’s teachings aligned with my beliefs, so I planned to attend the 10 a.m. service.
But when I arrived, the parking situation was chaotic. The line of cars trying to get in was long, and since it was my first time, I wasn’t sure where to park. The traffic flowed only one way, so I had to loop around just to try again. On my second attempt, I accidentally pulled into the senior-only parking area. After spending over 20 minutes trying to find a spot, I felt frustrated so I decided to head back home.
As I was driving, I thought to myself, Maybe I should visit Church of Southland in Anaheim. I knew parking there usually isn’t too difficult, and I was curious to hear the new lead pastor preach. So I made the drive to Anaheim, and thankfully, I found a parking spot easily. Still, I felt a bit nervous—it’s a large church, and I was walking in alone. There were moments when I seriously considered turning around and going back home, but I decided to push through and go in anyway.
I’m truly glad I stayed, because I was blessed by today’s sermon. A guest speaker preached on fear and how it can interfere with God’s plans for our lives.
Fear can hinder our obedience. It can cause us to live with one foot in and one foot out, constantly holding back. It makes us create backup plans in case things don’t go our way—just in case God doesn’t come through. Fear makes us second-guess, hesitate, and sometimes even walk away from what God is calling us to do.
But faith isn’t the absence of fear—it’s the choice to surrender our fear to God daily. It’s not about being completely fearless. It’s about coming before Him honestly and saying, “Lord, I’m scared—but I trust You anyway.”
Don’t let fear take hold of you and lead you into rebellion. Instead, take hold of that fear and bring it to Jesus in surrender. How we respond to fear matters. It can drive us to grumbling, resistance, and a tighter grip on our own plans—or it can become an opportunity to let go, trust deeper, and fully submit to the One who holds it all.
The reward of our faith isn’t comfort, riches, or success—it’s God Himself. When we obey Him, He reveals more and more of His beauty and presence. That is our true reward.
The cost of disobedience is far greater than the cost of obedience. Disobedience may feel easier in the moment, but we often pay the price later—spiritually, emotionally, or relationally. Obedience may cost us something now, but its reward is eternal. It may not always be felt in this life, but it will be fully realized in the life to come.
I think the biggest fear I carry right now is the fear of drifting away from God again. Recently, I felt a deep conviction from Him—one I haven’t experienced in a long time. My heart had been so dry, longing for His presence, thirsty for something real. I’ve been wandering in the desert for what feels like forever, just dragging my feet with no clear direction. But then His conviction came like a spring in the wilderness, and for the first time in a while, I felt relief—as if I had found a place to rest.
Yet, there’s still a small voice in the back of my mind that whispers, What if it’s just a mirage? What if this spring isn’t really there? What if I’ve imagined it all? Even as I rejoice in returning to God, there’s still a quiet fear tucked away—a fear of falling back, of straying again. What if I fall, and it takes years to get back up?
I don’t want to return to a life of spiritual stagnation. I don’t want to remain in a place of immaturity, never stepping into the fullness of the life God has called me to live. I long to grow—to move beyond spiritual infancy and become someone God can truly use for His Kingdom. But if I allow this fear to take root and grow, it will only hinder me—and may even paralyze me—from drawing closer to God.
Another point that deeply resonated with me is that the cost of disobedience is often far greater than the cost of obedience. I may not see the consequences of my choices right away, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t coming. What if my disobedience impacts my children—and even their children? This is how generational curses begin and continue. I don’t want my children to bear the weight of consequences I chose through rebellion against God.
As Pastor Phil said, fear can either lead me into rebellion or become an opportunity to fully surrender and submit to Jesus. I pray that my fear draws me closer to God rather than pulling me away. Sometimes, fear can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy—when I fixate on the fear of straying, I risk drifting even more. But if I do stumble and fall, I pray I won’t be discouraged. Instead, I want the strength to rise, brush the dirt off my knees, and keep walking toward God.
Here are some Bible verses to encourage us and help us stand strong against fear.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
jinsil • truth 