When I was 18, I looked ahead to my 20s with so much hope. I envisioned a life neatly mapped out—I believed I’d be married by 23 and have a growing family by 28. I planned it all with confidence and expectation.
But reality turned out much differently.
Looking back, what I feel most is regret. My 20s could have been a time of drawing closer to God, of deepening my faith, and serving wholeheartedly in ministry. They could have been years of becoming the woman God was calling me to be.
Instead, I chased after fleeting relationships and spent money recklessly. I gave my heart to people who didn’t deserve it, and I cried over heartbreaks that only left me feeling more empty. Rather than filling my soul with the Word of God, I filled it with material things that offered no real comfort. I tried to numb the pain with food and distractions, avoiding the emptiness I didn’t want to face.
My 20s were marked by decisions that pulled me away from God. I lived in sin, and even now, I’m still experiencing the consequences of those choices.
I wasted my 20s—and that truth is hard to carry.
Every time I look back on my 20s, the what ifs begin to creep in. What if I had chosen to focus on my spiritual growth and deepen my relationship with God? What if I had surrendered that season to Him completely? Would I be in a better place today? Would I have met a Godly husband and started a family by now?
Lately, I can’t help but feel like I’ve fallen behind. Many of my friends are married, raising children, building lives in their own homes—while I’m still living with my parents, trying to pay off debt and piece my life together. Every time I hear of someone getting engaged or married, there’s a sting in my heart.
It’s hard not to feel discouraged. Hard not to feel like I’ve failed. If I’m honest, some days I just feel like a loser.
Last night was one of those nights. I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw someone I know had welcomed another child. While I was happy for her, a sadness crept in and reminded me of where I am. That sadness soon turned into discontentment. Then came bitterness—the quiet resentment that those who once hurt me are now living the life I’ve longed for. Some of them have even walked away from their faith, and yet, they seem to have the very blessings I’ve prayed for.
It felt so unfair.
I was overwhelmed with a wave of negative emotions. And as I often do, I started thinking back on my 20s, and the whole cycle repeated—the regrets, the questions, the what ifs.
I broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. In the middle of my pain, I cried out to God:
God, I was so foolish in my 20s. Would my life have turned out differently if I had just listened to You?
Bitterness and disappointment flooded my heart—not just with my situation, but with myself. I felt the weight of every wrong turn, every missed opportunity. And it just hurt—deeply.
Will my life ever get better? Will I ever be blessed like the others? Will You redeem the years I so foolishly wasted?
In desperation, I began searching the Bible for something—anything—that could bring comfort in the midst of my pain. That’s when I came across Joel 2:25–27:
[25] I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.
[26] You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame.
[27] You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God and there is none else. And my people shall never again be put to shame.
For context, the Book of Joel begins with the land of Judah devastated by a locust plague—a symbol of God’s judgment. Through the prophet Joel, God calls the people to sincere repentance and promises that if they return to Him, He will bring restoration, blessing, and renewal. The book ends with a vision of God’s judgment on the nations and the future glory of His people. It’s a powerful message of repentance, mercy, and redemption.
Joel 2:25–27 brought me deep comfort. “The years the swarming locust has eaten…” speaks to time lost—whether through sin, suffering, or hardship. And yet, God promises that even those lost years are not beyond His power to redeem. In His mercy, He offers restoration. He can heal what’s been broken, renew what’s been wasted, and bring beauty even from the most painful seasons.
Romans 8:28 echoes that same truth: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” God has a way of bringing purpose out of pain. He takes what was meant for harm and uses it for our good and His glory.
So even though my 20s were marked by foolish decisions and regret, I trust that nothing is impossible for God. I believe He will make something beautiful out of those wasted years. The promise He made to His people in Judah reminds me that no matter how far I’ve strayed or how heavy my regrets may feel, His grace is greater still. Restoration isn’t just a possibility—it’s a promise, when we turn our hearts back to Him.
Here’s an article from The Gospel Coalition that encouraged me greatly: God Can Restore Your Lost Years
jinsil • truth 